Our child has caught us having sex!
Somehow you could never imagine that it happens once one himself - and then this: You have been caught by their child during sex. Must you to be embarrassed? How should you respond now? A psychologist gives answers.
How should we respond?
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Hopefully, it will not make one yourself, is futile: Probably almost every set of parents will eventually caught by the young during sex, it's just a matter of time. And although we were never disrupted in matters of love as it is today, and there is almost no Sexthema that would not flogged already afternoon on television in detail: Many parents are still affected very embarrassing when daughter or son are suddenly with a questioning face in the bedroom door , How should one react then? the child is not frightened because mom and dad having sex look so funny, the sight of moaning parents is perhaps even harmful to the young?
Problem lies with the parents, not the child
"Children are not harmed if they catch the parents having sex"Calms psychologist Erika Sievers from Wuppertal. It also did not matter how old the child. "How parents deal with the issue depends on where in themselves the shame limit" Sievers explained. "Parents need to find out for themselves whether they prefer to complete the bedroom door, or not. Also completing is not harmful to the children. And whether or not now complete, all children learn over time that parents have a privacy that belongs to them alone. Older children can, for example, explain, therefore, that they should knock first before they go into the master bedroom. However, just as the parents have to respect the privacy of children and knock on the nursery door, instead hineinzuplatzen easy.
That parents often feel as embarrassed to be surprised during sex, by the way does not depend on the thing itself off, for that is indeed something quite natural: "The feeling of embarrassment is culturally conditioned and also has to do with the different circumstances. In some societies, the whole family sleeps in the same room, so every now and then inevitably will notice if their parents have sex. There, perhaps it is but as offensive, when men and women take their meals together and watch each other while eating, which in turn is difficult for us"Explains the expert.
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But how does react when it happens? "If the child is marching into the bedroom late in the evening or at night, it is anyway sleepily and yet so caught up in his dreams, that it noticed nothing and does not perceive the situation"Says Erika Sievers. "One should interrupt the sex naturally, remain calm and take the child for a while to bed." But even if the child is the parents during the day caught having sex and amazed in the doorway, it says stay loose. "Now it is important to give rise to any embarrassment. Parents should bring the child to bed, may be where then cuddled together, talking, laughing or raging." Explanations need "caught in the act" only leave when the child asks explicitly by what mom and dad did you just made. When the question comes, but you should not delve too far: "Instead of starting at the bees and the flowers, it is better to each to answer the specific question of the child"Advises Sievers. So you can say, for example, that mom and dad have just cuddled each other because they have so much.
What applies here is generally true also for the education of the child: First start with explanations when questions arise. clear to every question and answer briefly. And always only so much explain as well as demand. "A really great tools are the picture books that exist around the topic education today," the tip of the psychologist. "together you look at the book and explains what can be seen." This relieves the parents and help them in this task, which will still perceived by many to be difficult or embarrassing.