In love with the teacher
Crush on the teacher. Especially with girls between 16 and 18 years is not unusual - and thus are a lot of problems almost programmed.
A taboo - but not unusual
Photo: © panthermedia / Monkey Business Images
Many still remember that from our own youth: It is with palpitations to school, hang pictures of school trips in the room, says to the skies and has butterflies in my stomach. Short. One was in love with their own teachers. Falling in love is a beautiful thing. But when it comes to his teachers, it is tricky. Because this desire partner is today despite all the sexual license, a social taboo. Legally, such a relationship between students and teachers is a big problem. "That students fall in love with their teachers, no rarity, "says Lothar Dunkel, school psychologist in Muenster. "Usually only nobody speaks about it." Because even the teenager would require that he has his feelings under control.
Especially girls affected
Especially girls between 16 and 18 years suddenly discover their feelings for the usually much older man on the board. "Girls embrace change rather true," says Dark. Boys at this age reject such emotions more or press sometimes more by aggressive behavior. see students in the teacher suddenly the man. You try to get as close as possible to him. "This can go so far that the girls adjust their teacher, lie in wait in front of the house or write note," says Arno Becker, Chairman of the German Teachers' Association in Hamburg. "But the idea that a young girl falls for her old teacher, rises quite also the minds of the older generation." Here, students have today by the mixed classes enough opportunities to get to know the opposite sex.
Calls to the youth helpline
"During my career as a high school teacher, I've noticed a few times that more developed than a crush," says Liselotte Völtz-Lohmann, guidance counselor at Johan Rist-Gymnasium in Wedel (Schleswig-Holstein). Still not all teenagers have confidence people in their environment. This is demonstrated by the calls at the Youth helplines. They are available in every major city. "Twelve percent of all calls revolve around the school," says Monika Steiniger, coordinator of children and youth telephone Hamburg. "We check with the caller's feelings and make you clear that being in love is first a beautiful thing. But of course we also point to the problems go when it comes to the teacher. "Most of the girls knew also that this is unattainable for them.
Cause a family history
"Just because the teacher is unattainable, girls often build this relationship," says Dark. Through his years of experience he knows that often psychological reasons are triggers for this love. "Often we find causes deep into the family history. So these girls have experienced about the painful loss of his father. Then look for men who can not get to the separation not to have to experience again. "Or, teachers are chosen as substitute father. "They are knowing men who have a strong shoulder to lean on for teenagers.
Teachers must seek dialogue
Feel a teacher that a student only feels more than sympathy for him, he should definitely look for the open discussion, experts advise. It should also inform colleagues and seek advice. "The debate should take place only at a harmless place," advises Becker. Only this approach ensures that the student can not attach anything to the teacher - for example, from disappointment at the removal. "Relations with addicts definitely lead to disciplinary action," warns Becker. Thus the emotional disconnection from their own teachers as painless as possible proceeds, the teacher should make his own living conditions significantly - about marriage and children refer. At the same time he should emphasize that the girl will continue liked.